Have you ever heard the statement ... to be happy in your life and in your relationship, you must first be happy within yourself? I know, cliché, but it's totally true.
Now you might say, "but I am happy with myself", and maybe that's true. But here's the thing, if there is any part of you that is unhappy in your life or relationships, I mean "deep down" unhappy, then you're lying to yourself (it's ok, I lied to myself too).
I had a great life, still do, but deep down I was unhappy. I felt exhausted most of the time. I worked way too much but didn't really understand the deeper problem. I thought I was doing all the right things.
Now don't get the wrong impression here. I have fun.
I've always loved learning and growing. But deep down, I was missing something more. It was real connection, I'm talking about deep connection to myself. I'm also talking about that intimate connection with others (and not just sex, that's another form of intimacy 😉). I wanted meaningful connections, not this superficial fluff where everyone smiles and pretends things are "just great!"
I was also missing freedom. The freedom to be who I am and to do what I'm called to do in this world. And that's the most empty feeling of all. Eventually, I got tired. I got run down, and even ended up in the hospital with a rare condition that doctors couldn't quite figure out. Thankfully, I'm healthy again but my body was feeling the consequences of all that stress and disconnect.
Since I didn't want to keep doing things the same way anymore, I decided to go on a long journey to figure it out. And I did.
One by one, I walked away from things in my life that no longer served my purpose. I gently moved away from the life and relationships that did not align with who I was becoming. I changed, slowly at first but eventually the changes created results and the results started showing up faster and faster. That's how it works. I changed my habits, my patterns, my thinking and mindset, and even had to change some of my relationships and friendships. I even totally changed my career (that's another fun story).
I am now so deeply connected with myself that when something's missing or things are off, I know what it is. I feel it. The biggest commitment I made was this ... nothing is allowed in my life that steals my peace. I'm committed to a life of peace at all costs. And as you know, a life of peace is priceless.
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